13 Nov The work we do on ourselves becomes our gift to everyone else.

I recently came across this quote by Ram Das (Psychologist and spiritual teacher)

“The work we do on ourselves becomes our gift to everyone else”.

Although the guru was commenting on psychological work and spiritual transformation; I have come to know that the “work” we have done on our bodies, to improve them cosmetically, also results in the gift of psychological and spiritual change.  The nursing staff at Somerset Surgery coined the term “Psycho surgery”.  A term they came up with after spending nights with patients recovering from cosmetic procedures.  The patients, feeling supported and comfortable with the person taking care of them, would start to open up about the reason they decided to have cosmetic surgery.  Often the patient would describe a big, dramatic life event and the journey they had been on.  A journey of self-discovery, self-acceptance and the understanding of what “self-actualization” would look like to them.  The decision to have surgery to address a cosmetic concern was often the final step in the reconstruction of their lives.  The choice to become the person they always wanted to be/ were meant to be.

Sometimes people open up before their surgery.  I remember a concerned mother asking me:

“What does having a breast augmentation tell my daughter about me?”

Without hesitation I said to her “It tells her that if there is something about your life that bothers you there are things you can do to change it.  What does it tell your daughter if every time you try on clothes, bras or bathing suits, you get down about the fact that your breasts have deflated after childbirth?  Having cosmetic surgery makes you feel like you are having a “good hair day” every day.  It boosts your confidence and makes you admire yourself in the mirror instead of hating parts of yourself that don’t fit with your self-image.  Your improved self-confidence will only have a positive impact on your daughter.”

As we enter the season of gift giving and receiving, keep the quote from Ram Das in mind, and don’t forget that taking some “me time” is not something to feel guilty about, but will ultimately be a gift to those you care about the most.